Wednesday, January 9, 2008
I think I'm drowning
I seriously feel like I am drowning in small children. I can NEVER catch a break. And then I feel like maybe I should do something for myself, but how? Someone pooped through. I need to change laundry. Fold laundry. Stainstick something. Put the laundry away. Empty the dishwasher. Load it. Make food for hungry small people, who then look at me and say, "yuck. Do I have to eat this?" Make beds. Do hair. Get everyone dressed. Brush their teeth. Do homework. Remember teacher's birthdays. Then someone is sick. Needs to be held. And I'm up 4 times a night with a variety of different people. It's like I'm running from that wave that is just about to crash on me. Like I'm skating on thin ice. Like I'm pushing through a fog. There have got to me more cliches that fit. I have decided to embrace this stage of life and give up on the decorating that I want to do. And the orgnanizing. And the cleaning. And the doing stuff I would like to do. Like working. And taking up a hobby. I figure there will be a time in my life when I am alone. Right now someone, usually three someones are with me constantly. And no one naps at the same time. I have someone by me ALL THE TIME! So we play uno, candyland, dig dinosaur eggs, make play-doh, decorate sugar cookies, do crafts, sing songs, dance, build forts, ride bikes, make messes, go to kid places. I count my day successful if I read my scriptures, exercise, and try really hard not to lose my cool with the kids. Setting more reasonable goals for my days. Maybe I won't feel so down.
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6 comments:
ditto ditto ditto ditto. i always say that if you have no goals or expectations having small children is no big deal. it's when you have an agenda that everything falls apart and you break down in tears. my house is always a mess and i don't entertain my kids with as many fun projects, crafts and things as you do. but i keep fairly mentally sane most days. and at this point, that's all i can ask for. often, i leave the piles of laundry on the floor in my bedroom and we pick out what we need, cause, hey, they're clean, and then i can watch a show with my husband or read a book and catch some me time. it's a compromise...
hmmm, sounds familiar. sometimes i get sick just thinking about. . . another day. . . at home. . . with the kids. . . playing with trucks. . .
but, really, i wouldn't trade it for anything.
as for none of your kids sleeping/napping at the same time? yuck. i always get the kids on MY schedule - i wake up my newbie so that she will be ready to nap when i want her to. i.e., when the 2 boys are napping/resting. it works and i usually have 1 1/2 hours when they are all down.
as for you question on my blog about getting kids to sleep thru the nite? my kids never did it real early, but between 5-6 months i do the "cry it out" thing. it worked like a charm on miles - by the THIRD nite he was not crying anymore. i don't remember jonas. but they both sleep thru the nite, now. emmy doesn't cry at nite, but i think i'll implement "talk it out" soon.
oh good luck and hang in there. i think being a mommy is absolutely the hardest thing ever. . . and the best. i don't know how those 2 go together, but somehow they do.
Geez! Breathe Woman! You don't have to do it all in one day! You have 4 children under 5! Don't look at it from I have so much to do, but I have done so much already. You get 4 kids dressed in clean cloths, you feed 4 kids, you keep 4 kids entertained, and keep a clean house, ( I have been to your house, its always cleaner than mine and I have 2 kids) Give yourself a break! Take victory in the small everyday things. Give yourself some credit.
Great comments from wise friends!!
Been, there, done that, I can relate to how you feel. But from a mother in law - grandma point of view - I think you are doing a tremendous job! Hang in there. This phase will pass quickly but I am not sure if you will ever get back to the ME time in the next 20 years. After doing it for so long and dedicating ALL my time and energy to the family I still find it hard to break the habit and think of my self and what I want to do.
Keep happy as you can and do try to relax and let a few less important things slide so you have energy for those that are really important to you and the family.
Lots of prayers are coming your way.
wow, you make me so excited for this 4th one to be born! You really do do a great job at playing with your kids and keeping your house clean. You have a good balance.
As for the kids sleeping thing, I agree with emily. You need to try to get them on your schedule or the same schedule so you can have a little sanity time. I always made Hunter have quiet time during Sienna's naps. He had a cupboard full of quiet stuff he could do during this time and he couldn't come out of his room until I came and said quiet time was over. And think all kids need this recoop time, in fact we all do. And sleeping through the night. I made sure my kids had a routine for bedtime. If you don't want to always have to do something like rock them to sleep, for example, then don't start. Make feeding time just about eating and changing and then it is back to bed. I always put my kids down after reading them a book or cuddling but when they were still awake so that they learned to go to sleep themselves. I don't know if this is the key or not, because some kids are just not good sleepers, in fact I nannied one. But in the long run I think routine and if necessary crying it out so they can soothe themselves are major factors.
I had a friend who said that her day was successful if she read her scriptures, made her bed and got dressed. It reminded of your comment. At least you are working out and that is something you get enjoyment from. Keep it up.
Good luck and it was so good to see you!
Wow, that sounds so much like my life. I think about this a lot - what do I really need to be happy? I even made a list, something like at least 1 hour of scrapbooking a week, house under control, exercise, see other girls at least once a week... try to make a realistic list and then make it happen. Like if there isn't a baby shower or birthday brunch one week I'll feel disconnected and know I have to invite someone over for lunch or to the park or I'll start to get grouchy. But I'm in no way the expert on this, I only have 3 kids and right now they're so consuming that I can't even THINK about a fourth. Something else I thought of when I read your blog earlier was how your girls make a fort just about every day. Does that drive you crazy (like it does to me when my kids do that)? Maybe it's something else that makes you frustrated, but whatever it is I think it's okay if you make a rule that they can't do a creation/activity that you're constantly having to clean up. They might not know it but they'd rather have a happy mommy than make a mess!
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